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you're so hypnotizing, you've got me laughing while i sing
you've got me smiling in my sleep
a very messy and dis organized thought process

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 10:20:00 PM

when you're nearly at the bottom of the social ladder in high school, you see and hear everything.
you'd think that being at the top, that would be the case,m but that isnt true.
the people at the top are living in their own world, that no one is invited to unless they eat like them, dress like them, walk like them, talk like then, heck, even BREATH like them.
today in english class i realized this.
there was a supply...and everyone moved to talk with their friends on the OTHER side of the class.
the other side of the world, i call it.
and the only people left in no mans land was me and two other girls that i wouldnt even call my freinds.
i don't like begging left out, no one does.
i glanced over to the other side of the room to see if there was any room for us, there wasn't.
i hate hearing people talking about me when im right there.
i hear girls laughing behind my back allll the time, and mumbling things under their breath, or exchanging glances with their Friends after i did something embarrassing.
i hear and see these things and pretend like i didn't.
im such a freaking mouse because i cant stand up for my self.
like im sorry i wasn't born as beautiful, smart and grace full as you okay ?
teenage girls are terrible
i dont know how many times ive heard girls spreading rumors behind another girls back, right in front of me,
i mean they dont even try to hide it cause they think im just there and cant do anything about
which is true, because i dont want to be involved.
the fact that people i've know for at least 2 years, pass me in the halls without a hello and try not to acknowledge my existence, is just mean.
there are so many people i look up to in my school and they don't even know it.
like honestly, i would prefer to go to a school where i didn't know anyone at all, than to go to a school where my rep has been set, even before i stepped through the doors.
people change.
why doesn't anyone realize that?

now dont get me wrong
im a gossip er too ...
so ... yeah

UPDATE: im not blaming this on one person.. so chill.


"if a guy treats you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. no exceptions" i like Asian dramas, romance, comedy, carmel frapps, cardigans, long necklaces, twitter, the search bar on twitter, lime green, purikura, food, winter, big cities, animals, behemoth, jake et amir, dean fujioka etc

basement party